As a national pastime, putting down our country beyond the bounds of humility has become all too common. Is it an inferiority complex that automatically compares our country unfavorably with others? Don’t travelers always come home with stories of how things are much better in the countries visited (they have clean public toilets), even when their experiences are limited to sightseeing, not at all subjected to what citizens there undergo and the high cost of living?
Overseas workers even when employed (or unemployed) under dire conditions find their adopted homes more advanced in every way. Of course, being home and pampered in their infrequent visits somehow reins in the tendency for odious comparisons.
Self-deprecation in the form of making fun of oneself and any accomplishments, no matter how awesome, can be an endearing trait. Paradoxically, self-deprecatory humor work best when one is clearly triumphant. Winners of international competitions like beauty contests, computer game events, and billiard tournaments credit their triumphs to luck, prayers of the nation, and support of fans.
Even a fading boxer who previously got top dollar and won on a routine basis by knockouts credits an appetite for more games in the face of fading excitement to the desire to wave the flag, and bring the bout to his home country. (When did that start?) There may be no more competitive matches to be had or ardently awaited. But, never mind. Those who buy tickets or subscribe to pay-per-view may decide to sit the next ones out, even if there may still be somebody left out there willing to run around the ring avoiding physical contact with the former icon, and just waiting for the final bell to declare that he can now deposit his check.
Politicians use self-deprecation in the campaign trail to great advantage. But once in power, the language may change into a confrontational and threatening tone. Why abandon a winning strategy? Self-deprecation at this time can be refreshing — I can’t do this alone. Maybe I’ll start inviting her again.
A twisted version of self-deprecation is false humility. Anyone prefacing what he is about to say with the phrase “modesty aside” is about to launch into self-aggrandizing statements, trumpeting achievements by packaging them as modest — my winning this prestigious award against other contestants from forty other countries is testament to the ingenuity of the Filipino (ahem, you’re looking at him). It’s probably better to outsource this praise release and hire image consultants for the job. Nothing seems more off-putting than a windbag who puts modesty aside on a regular basis.
Is it only the obviously competent and unquestionably accomplished that can comfortably engage in self-deprecatory humor? Is the phrase, “in all humility” going to make a comeback without strains of self-flagellation?
The insecure and under-qualified may feel that making fun of himself may invite ready agreement. (Oh Sir, you have every right to be modest.) For self-deprecation to work as it should, a social compact is implicitly entered into between the speaker and his audience. Poking fun at oneself is premised on the desire of avoiding envy and malice, and putting people at ease who would otherwise be intimidated by the speaker’s power, intellect, or wealth — yes I used to take the bus to school. It was a good way to meet girls, although I didn’t meet any who were not asking for my ticket.
Self-deprecation has to do with humility, or more crassly, lowering people’s expectations. There is an invitation not to be taken seriously, even to be underrated. (Please I am not a threat to your standing in the organization.) An achievement is scaled down (I was just lucky) in order not to attract resentment and inciting a desire to see a fall from grace for the high and mighty.
Whom the gods wish to destroy they first make arrogant. Intentional depreciation of one’s assets is a way to deflect the lightning from Mount Olympus. Anyway, if nothing else, self-deprecation preempts the viciousness of critics who are only too willing to put down anyone standing on a pedestal. This is harder to do when he is already climbing down from it and laughing at himself as he takes off his socks… ready to jump into a shallow pool.
A. R. Samson is chair and CEO of Touch DDB.
